I'm so empty; there's nothing left to hide.

I wrote a story... a very short one, mind you, but a story nonetheless. A story with my own characters who have their own problems. I did not write a fanfiction. I did not write a songfic. I did not write something that's eligible for a Pulitzer Prize. I wrote a story. A short story. A short story starring two characters, at a significant point in their life, that came from my mind. It's my story. I wrote a story. I left the ending open because I don't know how it ends and I'm so proud that I finally wrote my very own crap. Take that writer's block, you won't defeat this wanna-be!

The Story... Tentatively titled Tom and Sue.

    Isn’t adoration enough? Respect? A general fondness? She stared at the ring before moving away from the desk and throwing herself on the bed across the room. She closed her eyes and put her hand over them, rubbing slightly with her extended fingertip so she could feel the eye behind the lid. She rolled her eyes slightly up, slightly down, to the right and to the left, the entire experience something she’d done since childhood as a means to avoid making a decision.
    She couldn’t marry him, how could she when she didn’t love him? When she didn’t consider herself capable of love? When she didn’t even consider love to exist? Love, love to her was like freedom or happiness, bravery, trust, fairness; complete loads of rot they feed you in school to make you believe you were somehow better than the other animals. Love, like freedom and trust, didn’t exist. We were born enslaved in society, hateful spiteful beings that would never know anything as great as the love poets spent centuries writing about…   
    But Tom said he had. Tom said he loved her. Tom wanted her to be his wife and she had to admit, it sounded better than dying alone surrounded by a menagerie of other animals using her because the money she made was the only way they could survive in the society her species had built.
    He loved her. She didn’t love him. Was that all there was to it? Should she return the ring, the beautiful ring, white gold with her birthstone hugging a diamond? Not a large diamond, not a small one, but beautiful and so very her that she couldn’t possibly part with it now that she had seen it… A ring Tom had picked out for her and looked at her, his blue eyes glistening in the sunset as he went on one knee and told her that, even if she didn’t love him, he loved her and would love to be her husband. He’d give up his dream to be a father so she could follow her dream to be a war correspondent. All he wanted was to hold her hand as they explored third world countries, looking for the real story, the story underneath the hate. It was why he had changed his major, so he could help her.
    She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, Tom said to take all the time he needed, that he’d wait for her until the earth stood still and then wait another decade, just to hear her say yes. She could take him up on his offer, string him along until the world did, in fact, stop moving, or she could tell him no right now and get it over with… but could she live with herself if she was the one that put the hurt into those beautiful trusting eyes?
    She could give him children. A few years traveling the world after college and then they could settle down in suburbia, have a child or two, she’d be miserable and Tom would hate himself. They could have children and travel, it was all the rage now. Tom had started out as an education major, the children could be home-schooled and they could each have a tiny piece of what they wanted. Tom could have his family, she could have her career. They’d both benefit from the other’s loyalty. But to trap such a sweet boy into a loveless marriage? Was there fairness in that?
    Was there fairness in anything?
    She walked to the desk and closed the ring box, tossed it from hand to hand, opened it, closed it, opened it, looked at the ring, tried it on, took it off, put it back, juggled the case back and forth… She could smell it with the coming day, this was going to be one of those choices that she looked back on in five or ten years and said, “That, that was the day my life changed.” All she had to do was pick up the phone, call Tom, and make the right decision. Still holding the box, staring at it as though it were going to attack her with an axe in the dead of night, she moved to the phone, dialed the number and waited for that voice…   
    “Hello?” He sounded sleepy and innocent, like a toddler just waking up, not quite aware of how painful the world can be, “Hello?” he tried again, stifling a yawn this time.
    “Hey.”
    “Sue?”
    “Yeah…” She closed her eyes and sank onto the floor, the ring case still clutched in her hand. “Could you come over?”

Now, I've used all my vox invites at this point. Considering the fact that I only had five, you'd think I wouldn't have a problem trying to remember who everyone was. Yet... I do. So I'm doing a sort of public meme something I'll avoid in the future with information that I'll move into my profile because, naturally, I'm assuming other people have had this problem as soon as they get hip to the jive of the coolness that is line breaks, paragraphs and basic editing.

Internet name: Ilujna, Nugatory or Miniver, depending on the forum.
Vox Username: Miniver Cheevy is the name of a poem, and the name of the only character in the poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson. I don't have the same reason to be discontent that Miniver does but I do cause myself unnecessary anguish over things that everyone else seems to have no problem dealing with.
Religion: Born Methodist, raised Baptist, became officially Agnostic around twelve though I'd had the thought process of one since I was about seven. I was Atheist from about 15-17 before returning completely to Agnostic afterwards. Now I'm pretty much walking the line between Agnosticism and Atheism with a very strong leaning on Atheist. I believe religion to be a lot like conspiracy theories. If you believe it's true, you'll see signs of it everywhere.
Politics: I'm more Socialist than anything I don't embrace all the beliefs of socialism though I support enough of them to be considered one... in the U.S. I generally vote Democratic but I'm an advocate for completely destroying the party system and voting for candidates instead of parties.
Tastes in:
Movies: I prefer dramas. I consider most horror films to be my guilty pleasure and, while I don't shun the entire genre of comedy films, I'm very picky about which ones I'll see. Everything else falls into the "Depends on the previews, who directed it and  who's in it." category.
Music: I never bothered to learn subgenres so normally I just inform people that I listen to music. Most of my favorite bands or artists consider themselves to be rock or country stars. I listen to music that doesn't involve a good deal of cursing, that has a nice beat or good background sounds and meaningful lyrics. Most artists have at least one song I can't get out of my head but would never call an earworm.
Books: I'll read anything that isn't self-help. To quote the movie trailer for School for Scoundrels which I completely want to see just for the scene this is in "How many of you retards own a self-help book? That's your first problem, you can't help yourself because yourself sucks."
Celebrities: Now while I don't run off and get all doe eyed over celebrities, there are a few who, I think, pick really good movies to act in. I'll seriously think about seeing any movie that Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Gary Oldman, Paul Bettany, Elijiah Wood, Angelina Jolie or Drew Barrymore is in. I don't have crushes on these people and honestly, interview wise, Paul Bettany and Drew Barrymore are the only ones whose interviews don't make me want to get a really large knife and slash something living. If I were to go solely on interviews, I'd have to add Jason Isaacs to that list. I haven't seen most of his movies but his interviews are very real and very funny.

Now, the only reason I'd have to think about it is because there are some celebrities who just kind of bother me and if they're in a movie with someone I like, I have to figure out if I really want to put myself in a situation where I'll be whining about how so and so ruined the movie for me. Some of them I don't think they can act like the HP kids, others I think get too much hype like the HP kids, some I just see too much like the HP kids, the Simpson sisters, Orlando Bloom, Paris Hilton etc and familiarity really does breed contempt. There's a fourth smaller group who have said things in public, knowing the influence they have on other people, and have used it to promote their own agenda Mel Gibson. Normally I wouldn't care but some of their agendas are intolerant and hateful. I'm completely intolerant about intolerance. It makes me a hypocrite but, eventually, everyone is a hypocrite. At least I admit it.

And in the case of the Simpson sisters not being in the "can't act" category? I've heard they can't act, I've never seen anything they're in so I don't know.
TV: Normally I watch learning channels, I've been known to watch a few shows here and there though I'm horribly inconsistent and my knowledge about them starts to develop gaping holes.